Moohead Radio

With JJ Putz in the bullpen, the Mariners pulled a rabbit out of a hat Thursday, and brought Rick White into a pressure packed situation. The rabbit, it turned out, was old and palsy ridden. White couldn’t hit a location on a US map, and 2 Indians sat with their bats on their shoulders en route to a 6-5 win over the Putz-less Mariners (moo).

“I see Father Time come in game, and I wonder what the fuck for”, said a dejected Mariner catcher Kenji Johjima. “That beard…who take man serious who dye beard?”.

Eric Wedge was philosophical. ” I guess there comes a time when a man either grows grey or gay. White went with the Fire Island look. I thought he looked good out there, although the guys in the dugout were afraid the old coot might fire one in the dugout.”

Walking Franklin Gutierrez was bad enough. But why leave Colonel Sanders in there against a lefty? “I saw Mike Hargrove in the stands and wanted to do it differently than he would have” said manager John McLaren. “Grover woulda won that one with JJ. I figured we could win it with an old gay guy with a lousy colored beard.”

Kenny Lofton was thrilled when White remained in the game. “McLaren probably thought it would take too long for White to exit the field with his walker”, reasoned Lofton. “That peckerwood needed a compass out there.”

Rick Manning said it best: “Some guys are wildly effective. Some guys are effectively wild. This guy sucks Buffalo dong.”

Matt Underwood’s call added suspense to the exciting finish. “Why is Lofton going to first on ball three? Who’s gonna close for us here in Seattle?”

This entry was posted on Friday, August 31st, 2007 at 9:47 am and is filed under Indians. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.