Moohead Radio

Well….Nick Punto can’t hit. And he can’t bunt. And Ron Gardenhire is hot about it. “That squat to pee sissy just cost us a ballgame”, said the normally reserved troll. “I should drown the son of a bitch…or strangle him to death….Look…no pit bull reference intended. At least those dogs went down fighting.”

While Gardenhire infuriated all PETA members, Matt Underwood continued to stumble incoherently on the air. “If CC gets that call, he’d be in the dugout right now”…unfortunately there was only one out at the time. “What the fuck are you talking about, buttmuncher?” asked a peeved Rick Manning between innings. “Get that weak shit outta my pressbox.”

“Which pressbox?” asked Underwood. “We are in Minnesota, right?”

Back in the Twins dugout, Carlos Silva spread his ass cheeks in front of Punto. “Hey puta…how’s about a rim job?” jibed Silva, keeping the levity high in the dugout. Punto grabbed a bat, swung and missed Silva by a foot.

The Twins are now 8.5 games behind the Tribe. “Well…the casket doors are nailed shut” said a dejected Ron Gardenhire. “I told you before the series we weren’t dead yet…I was fucking dreaming. I forgot about Punto. I guess worms are eating our flesh now. We are decomposing. Worm shit. We’re worm shit.”

For the record, is Bruce Drennan Chinese, or does he just squint all the time? Is that the look of a man who spent long days in the shower in prison? He looks like he hurts. They don’t use KY in prison. Dirt road. Hershey highway. I LOOOOOOVE YOU CLEVELAND!!!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 29th, 2007 at 10:33 pm and is filed under Indians. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.