Moohead Radio

“When I saw Victor streak for the plate on Hafner’s short fly, I was filled with a sense of drama” said a pumped up Eric Wedge. “It was Delmon’s arm against Victor’s straight line speed. It woulda been great if Victor made it all the way to the plate. But that’s baseball.”

Despite being gunned down by 20 feet, Martinez had a big offensive game going 3 for 4, and Paul Byrd baffled the smelly Rays with an assortment of hard hit outs. “They smacked me around like one of Mike Vick’s Pit Bulls” a laughing Byrd said, “but I was able to get those AAA guys to make the big outs. Especially that shortstop guy…Zobrist. What a pussy. I’d get him out with my arm in a sling.”

Zobrist was not as kind. “Paul Byrd is one of those pitchers that are sneaky. They fuck your kids in the ass when you’re looking the other way. They rape your grandmother when she’s asleep. That’s Paul Byrd. We hit him, but he didn’t bathe the whole day. He smelled awful. Like gorgonzola cheese.”

Manager Joe Madden was trying to make sense of it all. “It’s M-A-D-D-O-N…Christ. how long does a guy have to be around here before the press gets it right. I’m not a video game football guy who rides in a fucking bus. I wear Drew Carey glasses and manage half assed players like Ben Zobrist.”

Zobrist was not amused. “Maddon’s a cerebral manager. He’ll jizz all over your sister, and think about it for hours. He’s that kind of cerebral. He stalks elderly women and peers into their bedroom windows. That’s the Joe Maddon I know.”

Game 2 is at the Trop in front of 6 people at 7:10pm.

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 18th, 2007 at 8:13 am and is filed under Indians. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.